"He was so much more multi-dimensional in his e-mails."
"And I thought Brad Pitt was going to come out that door."
"In my day, we made money the old-fashioned way. We married it."
"I'm sending you an e-mail in response."
"Was it good for you?"
"I think I left the oven on."
"Would it really make any difference at all if I packed it in bags?"
"And what'll you have for starch?"

"This is Heather. She weighs 110lbs but she's striving for 108."


Steve and Linda's torrid love affair has moved to a new phase.


"Why, what a coincidence. I'm an unpublished writer, too."


"Well, since the Viagra isn't working, what do you say we go get some sushi?"
Can't you see I'm off to my weekend getaway?
"I'm afraid to meet because it might not be the digital him that I've grown to love."

"...and so when I saw your photo on the Internet, I knew immediately that I had to fly the 400 miles here to probe the inner recesses of your fertile, intelligent, yet rapacious mind, plus I couldn't see what the rest of your body looked like."


"I don't think it's going to be one of our better days."



"Never date below 14th Street of you'll be lost in a sea of rampant individualism."


"Weddings are such an expectant thing. Still, I do love it when the engagement is broken."

"So which of you sailors wants to take me home?"

"So let me get this straight -- big biceps, good looking, a six-figure income -- and you're concerned he thinks Sports Illustrated is one of the great literary classics?"


"The good news is you don't look like JFK, Jr. any more."

"I think it's time to be honest. I'm in deep friendship with you."

"After 20 years of marriage, don't you think a consummation is in order."


"The way I see it, we're gaining an upstairs study."


"I prefer not to give gifts and be the relative that's remembered."


"Our marriage didn't break up until we repeated our vows and discovered the whole thing was a mistake to begin with."